His last name was Kobayashi. I don¡Çt remember his first name anymore. I called him only by his last name ever since I first befriended him. Kobayashi is the only guy I have been engaged to in my whole life. I don¡Çt know if he is keeping his promise not to let any other girl clean his room. Even if he has broken it, we are even. I am about to break my portion of our promise, not to tell this story to any grown-ups.

It was heavily raining outside and we were forced to stay at home for the whole day after preschool. Kobayashi was so concentrating on building a plastic model of Godzilla, which he just got for his fifth birthday present, that he almost forgot that I was there. I was pretty bored. In Kobayashi¡Çs unbelievably disorganized room, there was no Barbie doll or stuffed animals. I remember that feeling of uneasiness caused by something I didn¡Çt know. I wished my little Kitty-the-bear was with me. Then I could have played with her for hours, not bothering him.
¡ÈHey Kobayashi, what do you want to be when you grow up?¡É I asked.
¡ÈI don¡Çt know. What do you want to be?¡É he said while moving his fingers restlessly.
¡ÈI want be your mommy, Kobayashi,¡É I said.
¡ÈHow can you be my mommy?¡É Kobayashi finally looked up from his Godzilla and said with mocking tone. ¡ÈYou didn¡Çt give birth to me, did you?¡É
And then he got back to his Godzilla. How cynical he was for a five-years old! I was thunderstruck by his cold manner.
¡ÈBut you know, there is a secret to being a mommy¡É I continued, eager to defend myself.¡È I can be your mommy if you ask me to. I am serious, Kobayashi. That third grader girl living on the corner told me. This is supposed to be an extreme secret! And you know what you can get then?¡É
By the time I finished, I was close enough to him to feel his eyebrows. He raised his eyes and looked back into my eyes. I was sure I succeeded. His eyes didn¡Çt have the look of apathy anymore. His lips were much more eloquent than his mouth. ¡ÈWhat,¡É they said without making sound.
¡ÈIf you ask me to marry, Kobayashi, and if I say yes, I can clean your room whenever you want me to. Because I am your mommy, you know.¡É
¡ÈThat is good,¡É he said. His room was always messy, and I knew his mother, the real one, always told him off for it. Kobayashi seemed convinced and asked me, ¡ÈHow can I ask you to marry though? Who are you marrying?¡É
¡ÈYOU!¡É I yelled. ¡ÈYou should ask ME to marry YOU. It¡Çs so easy. That girl told me how. You should put your hand on my forehead and¡Ä¡É
¡ÈWhich hand?¡É
¡ÈI don¡Çt know. It doesn¡Çt matter.¡É
Kobayashi put his small, soft hand on my tiny forehead and looked my eyes. We could only hear sound of the rain outside. Godzilla was thrown down and lying on the floor. We paused for a while. Suddenly the whole thing seemed to become a big deal. My heart was pounding fast. I tried to remember that third grader¡Çs word about what was going to happen next.
¡ÈSay, ¡ÆWill you marry me, Rei?¡Ç¡É I said. I was afraid that if this silence, although I liked it, lasted any longer, Kobayashi would get bored again and get his attention back to Godzilla.
¡ÈWill you marry me Rei?¡É he said.
¡ÈYes, I will,¡É I said and held his other hand tightly. How long had we been like that? For me, a five-year old dreaming kid, it felt like forever. I was a princess Barbie who just got marriage proposal from her prince on a white horse. After a while, Kobayashi put his hand down and said that I am his ¡Èmommy¡É now.
¡ÈYep,¡É I said, happily. ¡ÈSo don¡Çt let any other girls clean your room, okay?¡É
Okay, he said and got back to his Godzilla. Half dreaming, I sat still and didn¡Çt move an inch.
¡ÈYou know what, Rei? I think I want you to be in my room and clean my room everyday. But then, don¡Çt you have to be Rei Kobayashi? I don¡Çt want my mom to have a different last name.¡É
¡ÈNo!¡É I cried. It was something that the third grader girl didn¡Çt tell me and I didn¡Çt want. ¡ÈIt¡Çs weird! I am Rei Asami. My mom¡Çs last name is Asami too.¡É Suddenly the idea popped up in my head. I took a deep breath and continued. ¡ÈBesides, we don¡Çt have to have the same name until we become adults¡É
¡ÈSo I will wait until you grow up. We will marry again then you can be my real mommy.¡É

It was a week after my eighteenth birthday when I saw the modern version of Godzilla in the video shop. Although the Godzilla looked much more scary and realistic than it was thirteen years ago, it immediately reminded me of the sound of rain and Kobayashi¡Çs soft hand. Kobayashi and I haven¡Çt seen each other since we were separated at elementary school. I haven¡Çt met any other guy yet, whose room I want to clean or for whom I would change my name.