daily life(never fade away)
--Unique smell of the books..Confortable sun light..
In your soul, the shutter speed is going to be extended..little by little...
((tamaki-san)
--What do you really want?
Where are you going? Only you know "the answer" in the box holded by your small hands....(sensei)
diary9:---3/12
Here is funny story!! My brain is rolling really busy!! What am I supposed to do for my gallery?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- diary:8---3/10
I still want to .....have a heart to anyone. This might mean I want people to have a heart to me. 'I don't want to hurt anyone'...if I said so, I might not want to be hurt by anyone, like much more than I have hurt some people....This might be the reason why I might hate most people, I might love a few people around me so much, too much... I must not have so many friends, but I have so many aquintances......
I want to be more brave enough to talk to some people about my honest mind.. I might never have told ''my story" to anyone... I have everything, but nobody has every story about me. I don't know about what the hell nomal is. Of course, I don't have every story about anyone yet. I don't even know if I want to know and let someone know about me......because feeling is almost impossible to be explained about anything..
That is because these are really hurt...What the hell is 'trusting'!!??
But, I 'nomaly' think I should tell the story to someone someday....
But, now, the only thing I can do is just keeping taking pictures,. making this web improved, and leaving here in better way..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------diary:7--3/5/02
I am going to have a photo exhibition. Now, my photo assingment is becoming my 'life work'
I am really glad about it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------diary;6--2/17/02
"That" was how I kept self respect for me. Now, I would have better ideas to talk to someone. I cleaned up the bathroom today. It took almost for 2 hours. I cooked, and ate. After a little while, my friend and I went to a coffee shop about 10 pm. That was such a impressive conversation. I sometimes need to spend the time like today, normal day. ( What the hell is normal!?...) Well.... That was cool.
good night.
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diary;5---2/12/02
No doubt!! I feel like I am crazy of all stuff I have now. I am supposed to be posting all paper work for applying new school tomorrow. I had been in a dark room to develop and print films for 6 hours totally yesterday. People might be adicted to do "something" like I am doing recently. Whatever happened to me was really lucky finally after new year. I still try to smell something good that have meaningful for my life. I really felt like I want to be a tree for next life because I can be a better observer for things what's going on around. I wanna be like a person who is the middle of objective and subjective...That is called "es", I have heard. Anyways, I might be close to empty now, such as, not possitive, not negative. I really don't know...
ps: I had really fun to drink and play the guitar. Thanks guys!! (you guys are always crazy bustar!! hehehe!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------diary;4---2/7/02
Feeling better??? I don't even know. I don't even know what I should think or shouldn't... I thought I was doing better.. I thought I could forget. I thought I had to go forward. I thought I must really change. What have I done for myself or others???? Nothing.... Nothing means I am feeling better... The answer is always "I don't know" Nothing means I am stressed out any more. Of course, I am confortable and happy with it too. I would bother all of.... as called friends, so do not talk to me while I am talking to myself. I would hate....can't say anything..'cause so many evil things are flying in my mind.
sorry, dear....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------diary;3---2/6/02 (Why are people so fogetable?...)
Only while I am taking pictures, thinking of many perspective about expressions,
I could be in safe whenever I had really hard time in my mind in this several years...
I still believe I can help myself by more than that thing... But I couldn't have got what it is....
I never know what it is yet.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------diary;2-- 2/5/2002
I am still wonderring if I should care of all this web's copyright.... My answer is "no". I just wanna up load this as soon as possible.. I can care about anything bad later on... hummm.
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diary;1-- 2/4/2002
I finished putting all stuff on each page right now!!(9:10 pm). That is all about it! I would not care what I am saying incorrectly in this web any more because this is very best of my peace of work. I feel like I can departure to next step of trying from this thing. I thank a few people who helped me to get skills of making website. Thank you very much!! I could think and return back to the time I have spent here, in Cheney for almost 2 years. I definitly think this working reminded me of original feeling what I've really wanted so far.
Well.. I have a work tommorow, so I would go to bed tonight earlier...Sweet dream, you guys!!
ps: Special thanks~~ "J", and Kenny-san!!!!!!!