Heaven's policy

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to
change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to
get into Heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you
died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The
next day at 12:01pm, the first person came to the gates of
heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy,
promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to
tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She
appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in
sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto
the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the
edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out
onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the
ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and
bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked
me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the
first thing I thought of was the refridgerator. I unplugged it,
pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It
plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the
moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy
did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel
anounced, an "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and
let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said,
"Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was

like when you died." "No problem," said the second man. "But
you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my
26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under
a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally
fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the
fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing,
and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't
die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable
to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
REFRIDGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25
floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to
himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the
Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel
says, "Please tell me how you died."
The third man says, "OK, picture this.
I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator and...."




eod/